Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen Buckman: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.

Joel: Wednesday, do you think someday you might want to get married and have kids?
Wednesday: No.
Joel: But what if you met just the right man, who worshiped and adored you, who'd do anything you say, who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?
Wednesday: I'd pity him.

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what- I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?