Fry: Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh.
TV Worker: Well, it's a Fox affiliate.
Fry: What are you showing right now?
TV Worker: 'Single Female Lawyer.' It's the season finale. Wanna watch?
Fry: I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre 'World's Blankiest Blank'.
TV Worker: She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt.
Fry: I'm in.

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?

We're in the middle of nowhere, which is the safest part of nowhere.

My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting. Or were they? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My Birthday. I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.

Homer: And you didn't think I'd make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus.
Marge: While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost forty dollars by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Woo hoo! A four-day weekend.

This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book Earth in the Balance, and the much more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh... also, comes with double prize money.

Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen Buckman: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.

Joel: Wednesday, do you think someday you might want to get married and have kids?
Wednesday: No.
Joel: But what if you met just the right man, who worshiped and adored you, who'd do anything you say, who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?
Wednesday: I'd pity him.

Debbie: And I dreamed that when I met him that we would wait until our wedding night to give ourselves to one another, to make the ultimate sacrifice.
Uncle Fester: A goat?

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what- I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

One of these days, Ndnd. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!

Zapp Brannigan: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.

Leela: Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.

Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

Professor Farnsworth: For example, if you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist!
Fry: But existing is basically all I do!

Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired by Hallmark and Disney in a hostile takeover, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.