Recently Added Quotes

I've fallen for you like a blind roofer.

Topper: Interesting perfume.
Ramada: It's Vicks. I have a cold.

My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.

You have the whitest white part of the eyes I've ever seen. Do you floss?

Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can, and stop calling me Shirley.

Striker: Surely you can't be serious?
Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.

Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, Hooter's is catering, and is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.

Hey, no...no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I've tried. There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians. The Holocaust. JFK. The Lincoln assassination just recently became funny. "I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head." And I hope to one day live in a world where someone can tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams.

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