Quotes by Annie Edison: Community
Annie: Exactly: there's a conspiracy here. A dark, vast conspiracy that may just go all the way to the top.
Jeff: This is Greendale, Annie. If there's a conspiracy, it goes all the way to *slightly* below the middle.
Annie: You're really good at it. You're like a machine!
Abed: Like RoboCop?
Britta: Exactly like Rowboat Cop. Sharice is a bad rowboat. Sink her.
Jeff: These are lyrics from songs from Dave.
Jeff: Dave Matthews... oh, excuse me for being alive in the nineties and having two ears connected to a heart.
Annie: The Dean had his seventh epiphany today, which has given me an epiphany of my own: the Dean is a genius. He has to be. If he isn't, then I've given almost two weeks of life to an idiot; that is unacceptable. Therefore, the Dean is a genius, and I will die protecting his vision.
Abed: Are you by any chance familiar with Stockholm syndrome?
Annie: Is it something that the Dean created? Because if not, I don't care.
Abed: Jeff wants to see you.
Annie: Yeah? And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.
Do you understand what a conspiracy is? When you conspire with everyone you come across, you're not really conspiring with anyone. You're just doing random crap.
This was not an accident. Accidents don't happen over, and over, and over again. This isn't budget daycare.
Shirley: They remind me of Sam and Diane. I hated Sam and Diane.
Annie: Who are Sam and Diane?
Shirley: All right, we get it. You're young.
Pierce: Ay-bed, your social skills aren't exactly "streets ahead." Know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff: You're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase "streets ahead."
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted! Been there, coined that! "Streets ahead" is verbal... wildfire!
Annie: Does it just mean "cool," or is it supposed to be like, "miles ahead"?
Pierce: If you have to ask, you're streets behind.
Abed: When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome as the family in the Brady Bunch. Now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of the Brady Bunch.
Shirley: I agree with Abed. This is getting creepy.
Annie: No more creepy than when Jeff wears tight jeans and you say, "I'd like to slap those buns on the grill!"
Shirley: First of all, I don't talk like that, and second of all where I'm from it's perfectly normal for women to talk about their male friends' backsides. You don't see me saying anything about Abed and Troy's weird little relationship.
Abed, Troy: [to each other] They're just jealous.
I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!
The "Webster's Dictionary defines" intro is The Jim Belushi of speech openings: it accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps on using it, and no one knows why.
Annie: This is really important to me, Abed. Could you please go as my friend? My really good friend?
Abed: Well, I didn't realize we were really good friends. I figured we were more like Chandler and Phoebe. They never really had stories together. ... Sure, I'll do it, Chandler.
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