Bender

41 quotes.

Quoted in: Futurama

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Quotes by Bender: Futurama

Fry: Bender, this has nothing to do with you.
Bender: That's impossible!


I failed at my life-long dream again. How can I be so bad at everything I try, and still be so great?


Professor Farnsworth: These bees are larger than most Buicks, and twice as ugly.
Fry: Larger than an American sedan? How big is the honeycomb?
Hermes: Honeycomb's big, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bender: It's not small?
Hermes: No, no, no.


All those times I said "Kill all humans", I always whispered "except one." Fry was that one. And I never told him so.


Leela: You can't go to Omega 3. It's forbidden. I forbid you.
Fry: But we have to. The world needs Star Trek to give people hope for the future.
Leela: But it's set 800 years in the past.
Bender: Yeah, why is it so important you?
Fry: Because it... it taught me so much. Like, how you should accept people, whether they be black, white, Klingon or even female... But most importantly, when I had no friends, it made me feel like maybe I did.
Leela: Well, that is touchingly pathetic. I guess I can't let you go alone.


Fry: Usually on the show, they came up with a complicated plan, then explained it with a simple analogy.
Leela: Hmmm... If we can re-route engine power through the primary weapons and configure them to Melllvar's frequency, that should overload his electro-quantum structure.
Bender: Like putting too much air in a balloon!
Fry: Of course! It's all so simple!


Bender: Uh, can people who hate "Star Trek" leave?
Walter Koenig: Good question!
Melllvar: No, they have to stay even longer.


My story is a lot like yours, only more interesting 'cause it involves robots.


Bender: Fleeing somewhere?
Fry: With you blocking the only escape route? Don't be silly.


If it's chicken, chicken à la king. If it's fish, fish à la king. If it's turkey, fish à la king.


Hey, whose been messing with my radio? This is not alternative rock, it's college rock.


Let's commence preparations for rumbling!


Congratulations, Fry! You snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she probably has got other characteristics...


Leela: Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
Bender: Because he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.
Fry: Hey, I can get any girl I want anytime I want! I'm just too busy.


Lets face it, comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy! Ha ha ha, that's funny.


Fry: You look different. Did you get a haircut?
Bender: No! I sold my body.
Farnsworth: Sold your body? Oh, Bender, I've been down that road. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great, but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewelry and skintight pants.


Bender: Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
Farnsworth: But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.


Leela: Bender, I thought you were supposed to be cooking for this party.
Bender: Fine, we'll have rack of Nibbler!
Leela: Just make a simple cake, and this time if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure you put them in after you cook it.


Amy: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc.
Bender: I'm 40% zinc!
Amy: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort.
Farnsworth: Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap!


Dean Vernon: You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House! Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House! Whenever a human corpse is desecrated...
Bender: Now I can explain that!


Countess de LaRoca: Bender, you risked your life to save me!
Bender: And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.


Leela: That was the worst delivery ever.
Fry: Yeah, I'm never going to another planet called Cannibalon.
Bender: Me neither! Food was good, though.


Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Bender: Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Farnsworth: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
Bender: Here it comes.
Farnsworth: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Bender: Thank you and goodnight.
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!


Bender: There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Zoidberg: Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds


In the name of all that is good and logical, we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic: one zero zero zero one zero one zero one zero one zero one... zero one zero one one zero zero one... two. Amen.


Bender: Now Wireless Joe Jackson - there was a blern-hitting machine.
Leela: Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns. Wireless Joe Jackson was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.
Bender: Oh, and I suppose Pitch-o-Mat 5000 was just a modified howitzer!
Leela: Yep.


Not enough room? My place is two cubic meters, and we only take up 1.5 cubic meters. We've got room for a whole 'nother two thirds of a person!


Fry: Where's the bathroom?
Bender: The bath what?
Fry: Bathroom.
Bender: The what room?
Fry: Bathroom!
Bender: The what what?


Bender: [in his sleep] Kill all humans, kill all humans, must kill all humans...
Fry: Bender, wake up!
Bender: Wh-uh? I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.


I'm going to build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers! You know what- forget the park!


After all, our love isn't any different from yours. Except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.


This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!


Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!


Of all the friends I've had... you're the first.


I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh... also, comes with double prize money.


Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?


Leela: Bender, we're trying our best.
Bender: Your best is an idiot!


Fry: My only other dreams are to be invisible in a chocolate factory and to date a celebrity.
Bender: I can hit you over the head until you think that's what happened.


My life, and by extension everyone else's, is meaningless.


[dying] I came here with a simple dream...a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real seven billion ton robot monster here? Not I... Not I...


Blackmail's such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

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