Billy Madison


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Quotes by Billy Madison: Billy Madison

You ain't cool unless you pee your pants.


Billy Madison: Bunt. B-U-N-T, in perfect cursive. Any more brain busters?
Veronica: "Rizzuto"?
Veronica: Rirruto?
Billy Madison: Those are Z's.
Veronica: They look like R's to me.
Billy Madison: That's not fair! Rizzuto's not a word! He's a baseball player! You're cheating!

Billy: You know I like Snack Pack. Why can't you just give me a Snack Pack?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.

Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really. Stop looking at me, swan.

No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll.

Billy Madison: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You got a banana, you don't need no snack pack.

Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.
Billy: Lady, you're scaring us.

[singing] Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school.

3rd Grader: How's high school Billy?
Billy: High school is great. I mean I'm learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very nice. It's great.
3rd Grader: Gee, I can't wait till I get to "hike" school.
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.

Scotty: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
Billy: I disagree, it's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Scotty: Donkey Kong sucks.
Billy: You know something? YOU SUCK!

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