Chris Traeger

7 quotes.

Quoted in: Parks and Recreation

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Quotes by Chris Traeger: Parks and Recreation

Tom: Hey man, what'd the doc say? Everything OK?
Chris: The tests and blood work came back, and the news is terrible. They found... nothing.
Tom: Nothing?
Chris: Nothing: The silent killer.


I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.


I know what'll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you're thinking. It's not that I want a massage; I'll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.


Ben: You need a ride back to the office?
Chris: No, no. I'm going to go for a light 15K. I missed yesterday.


I'd like you to get me some more post-its. I'd like them in multiple colors. I'd like green. I'd like yellow. Do not buy orange. I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.


Chris: Man, you are just knocking these off. You're like a ninja crossed with a Jedi or something.
Tom: You're like a nerd mixed with a dork or something.
Chris: Tom, Star Wars is not that nerdy.


I take care of my body above all else. Diet, exercise, supplements, positive thinking. Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.

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