Dr. Zoidberg

17 quotes.

Quoted in: Futurama

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Quotes by Dr. Zoidberg: Futurama

I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated.


Fry: They sure hate Zoidberg.
Bender: Posers! I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.


Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave humanity?
Zoidberg: Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is not to have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!


That Guy: There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who is a sheep is fired. Who is a sheep?
Zoidberg: Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.


I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.


Fry: Tell her she looks thin.
Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?
Edna: Why yes! Thanks for noticing.
Zoidberg: [to Fry] Now what?
Fry: Ask her how her day was.
Zoidberg: Why would I want to know that?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway!


Fry: Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
Zoidberg: [to Edna] I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. [to Fry] Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But okay.


Zoidberg: Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?
Fry: Fatal.
Zoidberg: [To Bender] Large bet on myself in round one.


Santa Claus Robot: You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you, Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you.
Zoidberg: A pogo stick!


Leela: Fry's outside? He's in great danger!
Zoidberg: Why?
Leela: I'm telling you why! Because Santa Claus is coming to town!


Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!
Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab! 1,000 years ago, there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsleders.
Fry: Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.


Bender: There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Zoidberg: Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds


Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but anchovies went extinct in the 2200s.
Fry: Wha?
Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Fished out of existence... just about the time your people arrived on Earth, Dr. Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: I'm not on trial here.
Fry: So, none of you have ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were salty and oily and melted in your mouth...
Zoidberg: Okay, okay! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying one more couldn't hurt, and then they were gone! We're sorry!


Don't be so hard on yourself, Fry. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!


A-ha! Once again the sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor! [Eats his sandwich] Oh no! I'm ruined!


This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.


Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies!

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