Jason Mendoza


Quoted in: The Good Place

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Quotes by Jason Mendoza: The Good Place

Jason: Back in Jacksonville, I was in charge of a 60-person dance crew. Whenever we auditioned a new dancer, we would rate them in five categories: dancing ability, coolness, dopeness, freshness, and smart-brained. I would give you an eight in every category.
Tahani: Well, eight isn't bad, I suppose.
Jason: No, no, eight is the best! It was a scale of one to thirteen but eight is highest. The scale went up and then back down like a tent.

I think Tahani's just embarrassed I'm not some kind of scientist who forecloses on banks.

I have no idea what's going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!

I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids menu! What a stupid age I am.

She's so pretty, like Nala from The Lion King. And she talks so smart, like, um, Nala, from The Lion King.

Can I be excused? Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out.

I was just about to tell an awesome story about a wing-eating contest that I lost, and a barfing contest that I won, but then a hole opened up in the ground.

Yo, you should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed.

I miss being myself. Myself was the best.

This is my bud-hole! It's just like a hole where me and my buds can hang out.

Everyone thinks I'm Taiwanese. I'm Filipino. That's racist. Heaven is so racist.

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