Jerry Seinfeld

10 quotes.

Quoted in: Seinfeld

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Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld: Seinfeld

Jerry: You've been hiding her from us. you must really like her?
George: Ah! the minute I saw this girl, we just clicked. She's got such a nice face... hmm, her eyes, her mouth, nose...
Elaine: We know what a face consists of.


Jerry: So, Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you, huh? No more "grease monkey".
Puddy: I don't much care for that term.
Jerry: Oh. Sorry, I didn't know...
Puddy: No, I don't know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.


Jerry: [Answering the phone] Hello?
Telemarketer: Would you be interested in a subscription to The New York Times?
Jerry: Yes. [hangs up]


George: A woman that hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime.
Jerry: You're a lucky guy.


Elaine: So because of a few bad apples, you're going to impugn an entire continent?
Jerry: Yes, I'm impugning a continent.


Kramer: This is going to be the new look of the '90s. You're gonna be the first pirate!
Jerry: But I don't want to be a pirate!


George: I don't get art.
Jerry: There's nothing to get.
George: No, it always has to be explained to me, and then I have to have someone explain the explanation.


George: Did you see the way she was looking at me?
Jerry: She's a Nazi, George, a Nazi!
George: Kind of a cute Nazi, though.


George: Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a color man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game.
Jerry: Yeah. Yeah. You make good comments.
George: What about that?
Jerry: Well, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and people that are, you know, in broadcasting.
George: Well, that's really not fair.


George, letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

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