Kirk Van Houten


Quoted in: The Simpsons

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Quotes by Kirk Van Houten: The Simpsons

Kirk: You're letting me go?
Cracker Factory Executive: Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
Kirk: So, that's it after 20 years? "So long. Good luck?"
Cracker Factory Executive: I don't recall saying "good luck."

Rev. Lovejoy: Now, Kirk, it's only a game. Sometimes, we...
Kirk: Aw, cram it, churchy!

[Playing Pictionary Pictionary]
Kirk: Ah, come on Luanne, you know what this is.
Luanne: Kirk, I don't know what it is.
Kirk: It could not be more simple, Luanne. You want me to show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is? 'Cause the cat's going to get it.
Luanne: I'm sorry, I'm not as smart as you, Kirk. We didn't all go to Gudger College.
Kirk: It's dignity! Gah! Don't you even know dignity when you see it?
Luanne: Kirk, you're spitting.
Kirk: Okay, genius, why don't you draw dignity. [Luanne draws on the paper]
Dr. Hibbert: Worthy of Webster's.

Uh, sorry we're late, but Luanne had to put on her face. She doesn't want anyone to know she's got no eyebrows. [Luanne looks at Kirk] What? You don't!

Kirk: I sleep in a racing car. Do you?
Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Kirk: Oh. Yeah.

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