Quotes by Turanga Leela: Futurama
This is it. The moment we should have trained for.
They're not evil, but don't be confused. They are jerks.
Leela: [laying on a table] Is this some kind of brain scanner, Professor?
Professor Farnsworth: Of a sort. In France they call it a guillotine.
I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse, and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!
Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave humanity?
Zoidberg: Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is not to have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!
Leela: Fry, acting like a moron won't solve anything.
Fry: Then all hope is lost.
Leela: You can't go to Omega 3. It's forbidden. I forbid you.
Fry: But we have to. The world needs Star Trek to give people hope for the future.
Leela: But it's set 800 years in the past.
Bender: Yeah, why is it so important you?
Fry: Because it... it taught me so much. Like, how you should accept people, whether they be black, white, Klingon or even female... But most importantly, when I had no friends, it made me feel like maybe I did.
Leela: Well, that is touchingly pathetic. I guess I can't let you go alone.
Leela: For 25 Quatloos, which villain did Kirk strand on Ceti Alpha V?
William Shatner: KHAAAAAN!
Fry: Uh... Khan?
Fry: Usually on the show, they came up with a complicated plan, then explained it with a simple analogy.
Leela: Hmmm... If we can re-route engine power through the primary weapons and configure them to Melllvar's frequency, that should overload his electro-quantum structure.
Bender: Like putting too much air in a balloon!
Fry: Of course! It's all so simple!
Leela: Professor. Please. Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now, let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.
Professor Farnsworth: No.
All this time I thought they were cheering for me, but they were actually cheering at me.
I'm a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about the capital gains tax.
Fry, if I die, make sure my body freezes in a dignified position! None of that "huddled over for warmth" crap!
Fry: You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work hard without paying you or letting you go.
Leela: Fry, that's the only thing about being a slave.
Fry: My girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. And she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.
Leela: Fry, remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?
Leela: Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
Bender: Because he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.
Fry: Hey, I can get any girl I want anytime I want! I'm just too busy.
Leela: Fry's outside? He's in great danger!
Leela: I'm telling you why! Because Santa Claus is coming to town!
Fry: It really puts you in the Christmas mood.
Fry: Christmas! You know, X-M-A-S.
Leela: Oh, you mean "Xmas"! You must be using an archaic pronunciation, like when you say "ask" instead of "axe".
Fry: This snow is beautiful. I'm glad global warming never happened.
Leela: Actually, it did. But thank God nuclear winter canceled it out.
Fry: Leela, I got a plan.
Leela: I got a better plan.
Leela: Bender, I thought you were supposed to be cooking for this party.
Bender: Fine, we'll have rack of Nibbler!
Leela: Just make a simple cake, and this time if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure you put them in after you cook it.
Leela: That was the worst delivery ever.
Fry: Yeah, I'm never going to another planet called Cannibalon.
Bender: Me neither! Food was good, though.
Fry: [Testing Professor Farnsworth's Smell-o-Scope] Just don't make me smell Uranus!
Leela: I don't get it.
Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: So what's it called now?
Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Bender: Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Farnsworth: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
Bender: Here it comes.
Farnsworth: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Bender: Thank you and goodnight.
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!
Fry: I don't get this. Is Blernsball exactly the same as baseball?
Farnsworth: Baseball? God forbid.
Leela: Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie.
Fry: It wasn't bori... So, they finally jazzed it up.
Aw, it's cute. Wait, no it's not! It looks like Bender!
Fry: Hey, you have no right to criticize the 20th century. We gave the world the light bulb, the steam boat and the cotton gin.
Leela: Those things are all from the 19th century.
Fry: Yeah, well, they probably just copied us.
[Fry is listening to Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" until Leela turns it off.]
Leela: Fry, you can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off my stereo.
Leela: I don't get it, Fry. Who was Ted Danson, and why did you bid $10,000 for his skeleton?
Fry: I have an idea for a sitcom.
Bender: Now Wireless Joe Jackson - there was a blern-hitting machine.
Leela: Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns. Wireless Joe Jackson was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.
Bender: Oh, and I suppose Pitch-o-Mat 5000 was just a modified howitzer!
Leela: Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
Leela: Bender, we're trying our best.
Bender: Your best is an idiot!
Leela: I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
Fry: My God! What if the secret ingredient is people!?
Leela: No, there's already a soda like that. Soylent Cola.
Fry: Oh. How is it?
Leela: It varies from person to person.
Leela: I have never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.
Fry: This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Yep, right up until my third heart attack.
Leela: Y'know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!
Zapp Brannigan: And which one rocked your world?
Fry: I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?
Leela: Well, if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula.
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