Quotes by Milhouse Van Houten: The Simpsons
Bart: So, finally, we’re all in agreement about what’s going on with the adults. Milhouse?
Milhouse: Ahem. OK, here’s what we've got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner! We’re through the looking glass, here, people.
[playing Bonestorm] This is great...and all I've done is enter my name! "Thrillhouse."
Milhouse: Bart! Nelson hit me!
Bart: He sure did.
Bart: Milhouse, do you ever think about the people in those cars?
Milhouse: I try not to. It makes it harder to spit on 'em.
Comic Book Guy: That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore; it is worth one hundred and fifty dollars.
Milhouse: What can I get for seventy-five cents?
Comic Book Guy: Ugh, you may purchase this charming Hamburglar adventure, a child has already solved the jumble using crayons. The answer is 'fries'.
Hey Bart! Lisa's skateboarding with some cool kids...and she looks like Blossom!
Wow! I bet if God wore pants, he'd have a belt like that.
Milhouse: Hey! Way to knock out my teeth!
Apu: Yeah, that's it, Milhouse, keep up the chatter.
Sorry, Bart, I'm going to hang out with Lisa...for protection... and to be seen!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. If Lisa's better than you at hockey, you think you'll become better than her at school?
Bart: Maybe I will, Milhouse. Maybe I will.
Mrs. Krabappel: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? [Bart raises his hand] Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? [Bart raises his hand] Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't had one right answer all day.
Bart it's just not the kissing. A lot of it is waiting to kiss, you know, when you open an eskimo pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt.
You've changed, man. It used to be about the music.
Milhouse: I have soy milk. The doctor says the real kind could kill me.
Bart: I wish I was interesting like you.
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. Check out my new earring. Pretty cool, huh?
Bart: Milhouse, my mom wears earrings. Do you think she's cool?
Milhouse: No, I think she's hot! Sorry, it just slipped out.
Milhouse: Hey, I know how we can have some fun. I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with "D."
Nelson: Dingus! [punches Milhouse on the head]
Homer: God bless you, Nelson Muntz.
Nelson: Eh, I'm no hero. I just like to hit people on the head.
I checked around. The girls are calling you ''fatty-fat fat fat'', and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants, but...nobody's trying to kill you.
Oh, I hate these floodpants. [Milhouse opens the door and water rushes in] Hey, they're working! My feet are soaked but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything's coming up Milhouse!
Director: We have got to do the "jiminy jilickers" scene again, Milhouse.
Milhouse: But we already did it. It took us seven hours, but we did it. It's done.
Director: Yes... But we have got to do it from different angles. Again and again and again and again and again.
I'm really sorry... I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store. But look! I got some cool pogs. Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He's back... in pog form!
Milhouse: A pleasure doing business with you.
Bart: Anytime, chummm... p.
Bart: Milhouse... Milhouse, wake up, quick! Look out the window!
Milhouse: No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!
Milhouse: I'm more worried about piranhas. Did you see that movie where they send a nuclear submarine to fight the piranhas, and one of them swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye, and he goes, "Aah! Aah! Aah!", and that old lady told him it would happen?
Bart: Yeah, that was pretty good.
Step over this line and say that... I'll kick your butt... at Nintendo.
Showing 23 quotes.