Quotes by Moe Szyslak: The Simpsons
Homer: You used to be a boxer just like me?
Moe: Yup. They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.
Moe: You're gonna need to come up with a slogan that people are gonna remember you by.
Homer: Awwh, can't someone else do it?
Moe: "Can't someone else do it?" That's perfect.
Moe: Sounds like you're having a rough Christmas. You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.
Homer: [drunk] Yeah, you're right, Moe… you're always Moe.
Moe: Aw, I'm gonna die, and I've never even tasted cantaloupe!
Krusty: Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.
Moe: Hey Barney, what'll it be?
Barney: I'd like a beer, Moe!
Barney's Girlfriend: I'd like a single plum floating in perfume served in a man's hat.
Moe: Here you go!
Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!
Barney: Okay, you asked for it, Boggs!
[Barney knocks out Boggs]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Heh, Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!
Moe: [Reading his valentine) "To Moe. From your secret admirer."
Barney: Yoo hooooo!
Moe: Oh God, no!
[Barney blows a kiss and belches]
Homer: Ah, another perfect day in my perfect life with my perfect job.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, just heard the news over the squawk box. That's nice work, Homer.
Homer: Thank you, thank you very much. It is nice work.
Apu: Oh, Mr. Simpson, I have just heard about the little bundle of joy. Congratulations, sir!
Homer: It's true, the bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money.
Moe: Hey, Homer! Way to get Marge pregnant! Haha...
Homer: This is getting very abstract, but thank you, I do enjoy working at the bowling alley. ... Hey, wait a second... What are all these presents? It looks like you're showering Marge with gifts... hmm... With little tiny baby-sized gifts. Well, I'll be in the tub.
Maude: Oh and by the way, congratulations on your new job, Homer.
Homer: New job? Marge is pregnant!? Nooooooooo! Aahhhhhhh!
Homer: See, I've got this friend named... Joey Joe Joe Junior... Shabadoo?
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
[A man runs out of the bar in tears]
Barney: Hey, Joey Joe Joe!
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