Napoleon Dynamite

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Quotes by Napoleon Dynamite: Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite: Do the chickens have large talons?
Farmer: Do they have what?
Napoleon Dynamite: Large talons.
Farmer: I don't understand a word you just said.


Kip: It's a time machine, Napoleon. We bought it online.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right.
Kip: It works, Napoleon. You don't even know.
Napoleon Dynamite: Have you guys tried it yet?
Kip: No.


Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes I did!


You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff.


Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.


Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Napoleon Dynamite: [after Pedro jumps the ramp] You got like three feet of air that time.


Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.


Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes... all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.


Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon Dynamite: The worst day of my life, what do you think?


Napoleon Dynamite: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!


Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.


Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!


I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.


Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?


Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

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