Quotes by Oscar Martinez: The Office (US)
The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. Because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.
Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.
Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.
Michael: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Michael: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be OK.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?
Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?
Michael: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five.
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you ten dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...
Michael: I'll be six.
Well, this is what happened. Uh, Ryan's big project was the website. Which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.
Michael: We'll ask PowerPoint.
Oscar: Michael, this is a presentation tool.
Michael: You're a presentation tool!
Oscar: I can play basketball if you need any help.
Michael: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box.
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