Quotes by Pierce Hawthorne: Community
Look at us, living together, driving together. We're like Batman and Shaft!
Anthropology? Why study my ancient ancestors when we can just study the primitive races like Eskimos or Italians.
Troy: I'm just sharing what you say.
Pierce: Yeah? Well, what if I share all the stuff you say? He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls.
Troy: There's no way to disprove that.
I was never one to hold grudges, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.
Britta: Am I the only person enraged by the fact that corporations are taking human form? I totally predicted this in my high school newspaper column: Britta Unfiltered.
Pierce: Unfiltered. I get it.
Britta: Get what?
Pierce: Ay-bed, your social skills aren't exactly "streets ahead." Know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff: You're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase "streets ahead."
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted! Been there, coined that! "Streets ahead" is verbal... wildfire!
Annie: Does it just mean "cool," or is it supposed to be like, "miles ahead"?
Pierce: If you have to ask, you're streets behind.
Pierce: Who is this?
Abed: That's Travis. You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis.
Pierce: Show him your license. Travis is his middle name.
Travis: I go by Travis.
Pierce: No, you go by the door.
Jeff: Good luck, Pierce.
Pierce: Don't need it, never had it.
Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, and he went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way, he'd just pee on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?
You know when I was 30, people used to wish I was dead to my face. Now that's respect.
Culturally it's unacceptable, but it's theatrical dynamite.
Every man should be punched in the face. It's a rite of passage. In my day, Friday night was smoke a doobie, feel up a gal, and then get your teeth knocked out by a Republican.
If he gets any nuttier, they're going to put him on "The View".
Don't, don't, don't, uh, lock your knees. Never lock your knees. You know what happens when you lock your knees? You die.
Abed: You still call me a terrorist.
Pierce: If you're not, I'm sorry. If you are, I'm a hero. It's a risk I'm prepared to take.
Pierce: To the empowerage of words.
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence.
Showing 16 quotes.