Ralph Wiggum


Quoted in: The Simpsons

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Quotes by Ralph Wiggum: The Simpsons

I'm learnding.

Skinner: And, for the first time ever, our computer lab actually has a computer in it.
Ralph: Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Ralph: And the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that's why it was the best summer ever!
Ms. Hoover: Thank you Ralph. Now take your seat.

Ms. Hoover: Now put paste on your paper. Ralph, are you eating your paste?
Ralph: [a gluestick pokes out of his mouth] No, Miss Hoover.
Ms. Hoover: Good. Now sprinkle the sparkles onto the paper. Lisa, you're not sprinkling your sparkles.
Lisa: Shove it!

Lisa: I've got something for you.
Ralph: [reading a card] "Let's be friends." It says "bee," and there's a picture of a bee on it!

[Patching the roof with tar]
Ralph: Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy!
Homer: Yeah, they'll do that.

... the doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

Ralph: That valentine sure was funny!
Lisa: I'm glad you liked it.
Ralph: It says "choo-choo-choose me" and there's a picture of a train.
Lisa: Yeah, nice gag.
Ralph: So... do you like... stuff?

[After reading Lisa's valentine] You choo-choo-choose me?

Ms. Hoover: You may now exchange valentines.
Ralph: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.

Ralph: My parents won't let me use scissors. [kids laugh at him]
Ms. Hoover: The children have a right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter. Now, take out your red crayons.
Ralph: Miss Hoover?
Ms. Hoover: Yes, Ralph?
Ralph: I don't have a red crayon.
Ms. Hoover: Why not?
Ralph: I ate it.

Smell ya later, Bart. Smell ya later forever.

Ralph Wiggum: Can you open my milk, Mommy?
Ms. Hoover: I'm not Mommy, Ralph. I'm Miss Hoover.

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant!

Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vents.
Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember that time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.

Ralph: ...and when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
Ms. Hoover: Thank you, Ralph, very graphic.

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

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