Quoted in: The Good Place

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Quotes by Shawn: The Good Place

Michael: I won't let you down.
Shawn: I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail.

This is exhausting. I just want to go back to my container of goo and go to sleep.

In my opinion, which is an objective fact in this case and in all cases always and forever, you have all done bad things since you arrived here.

They are not completely innocent. They told me so themselves. They aided and abetted two criminals, one of whom was a DJ.

As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest... [looks at paper] oh, he's from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.

Goodbye, Michael. We will leave you with one of Bad Janet's classic farts. The smell will linger for 10 million years.

Shawn: So, I'm just gonna throw you in this unmarked room - for the rest of eternity. And since it seems you love humans so much, I'll torture you like one. All you'll have for entertainment is that giant stack of "New Yorker" magazines.
Michael: Oh, come on. You and I both know I'll never read those.
Shawn: Of course you won't. But they'll just keep coming.

Michael: Shawn, this is not fair.
Shawn: Fair is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for staycation.

Shawn: So, just to be clear, you actually rebooted them over 800 times, and all of these reports of their torture are completely fake?
Michael: Yes, but frankly, this is on you. A lot of those details I just took directly from Stephen King novels and episodes of "Pretty Little Liars".

Hello, imbeciles.

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