Quotes by Sideshow Bob: The Simpsons
I just hope people don't think I'm just marrying you for your money instead of your less tangible qualities.
You're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha... one, existence is suffering, two, the cause of suffering is desire. In this case, my desire to do high quality children's programming.
That's right, dear. Enjoy your rest. The wedding was very tough on you, and the honeymoon is going to be... murder.
Blue-haired Lawyer: What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die"?
Sideshow Bob: No that's German for "The Bart, The."
Parole Officer: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Parole Officer: Parole granted!
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? That spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine soaked hellhole.
Parole Officer: Uh...We object to the term: "urine soaked hellhole," when you could have said: "pee pee soaked heckhole."
"Attempted murder?" Now really, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for "attempted chemistry"?
Your guilty consciences may force you to vote Democratic, but deep in your hearts you long for a cold, Republican leader who'll cut taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!
Showing 7 quotes.