Troy Barnes

22 quotes.

Quoted in: Community

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Quotes by Troy Barnes: Community

Troy: I'm just sharing what you say.
Pierce: Yeah? Well, what if I share all the stuff you say? He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls.
Troy: There's no way to disprove that.


Troy: How did we get the short straw?
Abed: It's not a short straw. It's a hot potato.
Troy: Yeah, well, it looks pretty cold to me.
Abed: Cold or dead?.
Troy: Survey says...
Abed: We can't both do the zinger.


[Troy and Jeff are playing basketball]
Troy: Ready for The Bus Driver, Winger? You know why they call me The Bus Driver, right?
Jeff: 'Cause you've been traveling all day?
Troy: 'Cause I'm taking your butt to school.


Abed: I hope they're not twins. Twins freak me out. They always know what the other one is...
Troy: Thinking?
Abed: Yeah. And they're always finishing each other's...
Troy: Pie?
Abed: Exactly. It's creepy.


Britta: I wish to end all wars.
Troy: That's another rule. No wishes containing the word 'all'. Guaranteed ironic consequences.
Britta: I don't think anyone's going to miss wars.
Troy: Star Wars, Thumb wars, wow, Storage Wars!


Troy: There are a couple of things we're hoping you'll help us with.
Abed: Yes. Like where does the water go in the iron?
Troy: And what's the iron for?
Abed: And what gets out Kool-Aid stains?
Troy: We already know the opposite color Kool-Aid doesn't work.


What is wrong with you people?! Huh?! I thought you were supposed to be friends! I thought you were supposed to love each other! Your love is weird! And toxic! And it destroys everything it touches! I no longer care about grades! Or Biology, or finally graduating from college like I promised my dying father. I'm going home. I'm going to hold my wife and my child close and I'm going to finally take my insulin shot! Offense taken! Offense taken.


She was born in the 80s, she still uses her phone as a phone!


[to Britta] You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You are the opposite of Batman!


I told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet LeVar in person! I just wanted a picture. You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you Pierce!


Troy: Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
Duncan: I am a professional, and you are interfering with a very fragile book deal... I mean, human being.


Abed: Wanna build a cardboard submarine?
Troy: Get out of my brain.


My whole brain is crying!


Oh, and for the record? There was an episode of Happy Days where a guy *literally* jumped over a shark. And it was the *best* one.


Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, and he went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way, he'd just pee on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?


Abed: When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome as the family in the Brady Bunch. Now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of the Brady Bunch.
Shirley: I agree with Abed. This is getting creepy.
Annie: No more creepy than when Jeff wears tight jeans and you say, "I'd like to slap those buns on the grill!"
Shirley: First of all, I don't talk like that, and second of all where I'm from it's perfectly normal for women to talk about their male friends' backsides. You don't see me saying anything about Abed and Troy's weird little relationship.
Abed, Troy: [to each other] They're just jealous.


This is wrinkling my brain.


Alcohol makes people sad. It's the Lifetime movie of beverages.


The only difference between Señor Chang and Stalin is that I know who Señor Chang is.


Woah, you just wrinkled my brain.


Abed is a magical elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near him.


Jeff: I'm saying, you're a football player. It's in your blood!
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your soul.
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay?
Jeff: That's homophobic.
Troy: That's black.
Jeff: *That's* racist.

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