Troy Barnes

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Quotes by Troy Barnes

[to Britta] You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You are the opposite of Batman!

I told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet LeVar in person! I just wanted a picture. You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you Pierce!

Troy: Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
Duncan: I am a professional, and you are interfering with a very fragile book deal... I mean, human being.

Abed: Wanna build a cardboard submarine?
Troy: Get out of my brain.

My whole brain is crying!

Oh, and for the record? There was an episode of Happy Days where a guy *literally* jumped over a shark. And it was the *best* one.

Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, and he went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way, he'd just pee on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?

Abed: When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome as the family in the Brady Bunch. Now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of the Brady Bunch.
Shirley: I agree with Abed. This is getting creepy.
Annie: No more creepy than when Jeff wears tight jeans and you say, "I'd like to slap those buns on the grill!"
Shirley: First of all, I don't talk like that, and second of all where I'm from it's perfectly normal for women to talk about their male friends' backsides. You don't see me saying anything about Abed and Troy's weird little relationship.
Abed, Troy: [to each other] They're just jealous.

This is wrinkling my brain.

Alcohol makes people sad. It's the Lifetime movie of beverages.

The only difference between Señor Chang and Stalin is that I know who Señor Chang is.

Woah, you just wrinkled my brain.

Abed is a magical elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near him.

Jeff: I'm saying, you're a football player. It's in your blood!
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your soul.
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay?
Jeff: That's homophobic.
Troy: That's black.
Jeff: _That's_ racist.

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