Billy Madison
16 quotes. Add a new quote.
Released on Feb. 10, 1995
Search for Billy Madison on Amazon
Billy Madison is the 27 year-old son of Bryan Madison, a very rich man who has made his living in the hotel industry. Billy stands to inherit his father's empire, but only if he can make it through all 12 grades, 2 weeks per grade, to prove that he has what it takes to run the family business.
Quotes from Billy Madison
You ain't cool unless you pee your pants.
Carl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Carl?
You BLEW IT!
O'Doyle rules.
Billy Madison: Bunt. B-U-N-T, in perfect cursive. Any more brain busters?
Veronica: "Rizzuto"?
Veronica: Rirruto?
Billy Madison: Those are Z's.
Veronica: They look like R's to me.
Billy Madison: That's not fair! Rizzuto's not a word! He's a baseball player! You're cheating!
Billy: You know I like Snack Pack. Why can't you just give me a Snack Pack?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really. Stop looking at me, swan.
No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.
Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll.
No milk will ever be our milk.
Billy Madison: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You got a banana, you don't need no snack pack.
Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.
Billy: Lady, you're scaring us.
[singing] Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school.
3rd Grader: How's high school Billy?
Billy: High school is great. I mean I'm learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very nice. It's great.
3rd Grader: Gee, I can't wait till I get to "hike" school.
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.
Scotty: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
Billy: I disagree, it's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Scotty: Donkey Kong sucks.
Billy: You know something? YOU SUCK!
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Showing 16 quotes.