Recently Added Quotes


I'm supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old, has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It's a very serious situation.


Webster's Dictionary defines 'wedding' as 'the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.' Well you know something? I think you guys are two medals. Gold medals.


Why are all these people here? There's too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.


Angela: The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work! Gross! I mean it looks like he just got off the boat!
Toby: Can't you just not look at his feet?
Angela: Excuse me? Oh. You're so educated aren't you Toby? So trained to deal with a hysterical woman. I don't want to look at his feet! Do your job!


Listen up Flenderson, you're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, ok! Here are the new rules, ok? Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.


I have a very difficult decision to make. It's like last week I was at the video store. Do I rent Devil Wares Prada, again, or do I finally get around to seeing Sophie's Choice? It is what you would call a classic difficult decision.


You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.


This life we are either kings or pawns, emperors or fools.


Loki:
Enough! You are all of you are beneath me. I am a god, you dull creature, and I shall not be bullied by...

[Hulk grabs Loki and throws him around]

Hulk:
Puny god.


When held over heat, the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. Urine. It was urine.

Showing 10 of 2404 quotes.