Recently Added Quotes


Fry: I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?
Leela: Well, if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula.


Please don't call me by my real name, it destroys the reality I'm trying to create.


Lori: What are you? C.I.A.? Mafia?
Wallace: Both.


What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one, and my bladder explodes?


Dr. Marvin: Why are you always wearing black? What is it with you and this death fixation?
Siggy: Maybe I'm in mourning for my lost childhood.


Fay, this is so scrumptious. Is this hand-shucked?


Leo, I see salt and pepper. Is there a salt substitute?


Siggy: I mean, my dad just dropped me in the water. He let me go with no warning. I mean, I nearly drowned. My whole life passed before my eyes.
Bob Wiley: You're lucky you're only 12.
Siggy: It was still grim.


Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?
Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.
Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?
Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.


[Phil drives a truck off a cliff] He might be OK. [explosion] Well, no, probably not now.

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