NewsRadio

20 quotes.

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"NewsRadio" showcases the hilarious antics of the whimsical #2 news radio station in New York City. The corral of characters are eccentric and witty, and they surprise each other with their back-and-forth banter. Their workplace humor also supplies an abundance of laughs amidst this unlikely bunch of colleagues.


Quotes from NewsRadio

No, I am not paranoid, because I can say without a trace of irony... you're all out to get me.


Spare me. If I believed in fairy tales I wouldn't have dropped out of kindergarten.


Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say "I never liked you. Get lost."


Dave: Bill, these people are insane.
Bill: Oh, really? Then why did they elect me Prime Minister of Ward 15 this morning?


Bill: The eyes are the windows to the skull, my friend.
Dave: Soul.
Bill: For those who have one, yes.


Bill: Another time I was cut from the high school football team. And my mother said, "Central's lost a fullback, but the McNeals have gained a daughter".
Lisa: Oh, my God!
Bill: In front of the entire football team, too! Good times, good times...


It's not garbage. It's rap music. And I love it. The pulsating rhythms, raw bass line. This stuff speaks to me in places I didn't even know I had ears.


Beth: So what do you do, keep all your money in a shoebox under your bed?
Joe: Like I'd tell you where I keep my shoebox.


If I increased the budget every time morale was low, the guys in my asbestos factory would be driving around solid gold Cadillacs by now.


I am a cipher, a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce.


Wait a minute, Joe. If what you're saying is true, then... I still don't care.


Bill: Even if I did blab your personal life to the world, no one would believe me.
Dave: Why not?
Bill: Because I am widely believed to be an inveterate liar, and rightly so.


[as he puts a heart shaped box in the paper shredder] Ahh, shreddin' a heart. If that's not a metaphor for... something, I don't know what is.


Dave: Have you thought about how this will make you co-workers feel?
Bill: Actually, one of the great things about the cubicle is not having to think about my co-workers at all.


Catherine: If you ever broadcast my age over the air again I will beat you to death with your own microphone!
Bill: You may be 36, but you still have all the spark and sass of a 35-year-old!


Show me a woman who isn't jealous of another woman, and I'll show you a man.


Dave: I just had no idea that the Patch could have side effects.
Bill: And I had no idea you're only supposed to wear one at a time.
Dave: How many were you wearing?
Bill: Fifteen, sixteen. I sort of stuck them all around my waist like a belt.


Bill: What's interesting about radio?
Dave: Well I think it's a fascinating medium.
Bill: You're from Wisconsin. Artificial light is fascinating to you!


Bill: Do you have a special lady in your life?
Dave: No.
Bill: I'm sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Do you have a special person in your life?


Dave: Why? Because I'm the boss, Bill, that's why! That's why, Bill. And I will not be manipulated, I will not be contradicted, and I will not be intimidated!
Bill: Well, I didn't realize you were a man of such strong conviction, of such deeply felt moral tenacity, of such remarkable centeredness...
Dave: All right, Bill, I'm not going to be sucked-up to either.
Bill: Well, you've eliminated all my options. All that's left is backstabbing.

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