I still can't believe she wants to marry me. A dumb old pediatric surgeon who barely has an 8-pack.
Well, I'm sure you're busy, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me. I get it, I wouldn't either. I'm as dull as a rock. Ugh, even that analogy was boring. I'm sorry, I'm so dull, and I'm ugly. I'm like a rock. Ugh, stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!
I enjoy American football. I actually dated a player once. But he wasn't my type so I set him up with my friend Gisele... Bundchen.
I have to watch the Jaguars games at home on my computer at like, 3:00 in the morning on Mondays. It's so annoying. Everything here is in a... I don't know how to describe it. Like, a different zone of time. No, that sounds stupid. A different clock land.
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To me, the single most awful sound in the universe is that mangled opening note of your co-worker singing "Happy Birthday."