The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 23: Bart's Friend Falls in Love

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First aired on May 7, 1992

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Everything’s coming up Milhouse when Bart’s best friend falls in love with the new girl at school. Jealous, Bart snitches to Milhouse’s father and the lovebirds are separated.


Oh come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

Bart it's just not the kissing. A lot of it is waiting to kiss, you know, when you open an eskimo pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt.

Milhouse, we're living in the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. Besides, what's so great about kissing?

Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure, you kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint: Delicious but Deadly and Here Comes the Metric System!.

This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by 20 minutes!

Everybody on! No shoving! Heh, just kidding. You can shove all you want!

Lisa: According to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is suddenly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.
Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.

We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter. Then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.

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