The Simpsons Season 8 Episode 12: Mountain of Madness

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First aired on Feb. 2, 1997

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To promote teamwork amongst the power plant's employees, Mr. Burns makes them go on a corporate retreat up in the mountains.


Homer: So, Mr. Burns is gonna make us all go on a stupid corporate retreat up in the mountains to learn about teamwork. Which means we'll have to cancel our plans to hang around here.
Bart: Teamwork is overrated.
Homer: Huh?
Bart: Think about it. I mean, what team was Babe Ruth on? Who knows.
Lisa and Marge: Yankees.

Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Lenny: Well, we made it here first. All thanks to teamwork.
Carl: Yeah, my teamwork.

Mr. Burns: We have several hours before the others arrive, let's say we get comfy. [turns on the fuse box] Now we have electricity. [turns on the gas] This propane tank will supply us with heat. And this doorknob, properly turned, will allow us access to the cabin.
Homer: No going through the window for us!

Smithers: Each two-man team will work its way through the wilderness to a cabin hidden somewhere on this mountain. The routes are treacherous, so use your maps.
Homer: [raising his hand] Uh, I lost my map.
Smithers: You haven't been issued a map, yet.

Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.
Mr. Burns: Oh, yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more.

Carl: According to the map, the cabin should be right here.
Lenny: Hey, maybe there is no cabin. Maybe it's one of them, um, metaphorical things.
Carl: Oh, yeah, yeah. Like maybe the "cabin" is the place inside each of us created by our goodwill and teamwork.
Lenny: Oh. Nah, they said there'd be sandwiches.

Mr. Burns: If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift, or the Jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well I say, "Cheating is the gift man gives himself."
Homer: Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat!

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