The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9: Realty Bites

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First aired on Dec. 7, 1997

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When Marge gets her real estate license, she learns to put a positive spin on the flaws of the houses she’s selling. But when the Flanders buy the Murder House, she realizes she has to tell the truth.


Quotes:

Lionel Hutz: Listen, it's time I let you in on a little secret, Marge. "The right house" is the house that's for sale; the "right person" is anyone.
Marge: But all I did was tell the truth.
Lionel Hutz: Of course you did. But there's "the truth" [shakes head] and "the truth." [smiles wide] Let me show you.
Marge: It's awfully small.
Lionel Hutz: I'd say it's awfully "cozy."
Marge: That's dilapidated.
Lionel Hutz: Rustic.
Marge: That house is on fire!
Lionel Hutz: "Motivated seller".


Hey, that smells like regular! She needs Premium, dude! Premium! Dude!


Trying is the first step toward failure.

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