The Simpsons
150 quotes.
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Set in Springfield, the average American town, the show focuses on the antics and everyday adventures of the Simpson family; Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, as well as a virtual cast of thousands. Since the beginning, the series has been a pop culture icon, attracting hundreds of celebrities to guest star. The show has also made name for itself in its fearless satirical take on politics, media and American life in general.
Quotes from The Simpsons
Judge Harm: Silence in my courtroom! Grand theft auto?
Bart: It was an accident, ma'am.
Judge Harm: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!
Judge Harm: Bartholomew Simpson, I am sentencing you to 5 years in juvenile hall. ... Huh?
Judge Snyder: Well, I'm back from my vacation.
Judge Harm: But I was about to pound the gavel, making the sentence official!
Judge Snyder: Sorry, but I put my clown down.
Judge Harm: But, I was going to--
Judge Snyder: The clown is down.
Marge... this is everything I've ever dreamed of right here - and no one's going to take it away from me! You never had faith in me before, but let me tell you - the slim lazy Homer you knew is dead! Now I'm a big fat dynamo! And where's that cake?
Mr. Burns: Homer, your bravery and quick thinking have turned a potential Chernobyl into a mere Three-Mile Island. Bravo!
Lisa: I think it's ironic that Dad saved the day, while a slimmer man would've fallen to his death.
Bart: And I think it's ironic that, for once, Dad's butt prevented the spread of toxic gas.
I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant!
All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body.
I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with the muumuu.
If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about.
The only thing I am high on is love! Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need!
Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
Congratulations, Bart Simpson, you're our new Fallout Boy! That's what I would be saying if you weren't an inch too short. Next!
Director: We have got to do the "jiminy jilickers" scene again, Milhouse.
Milhouse: But we already did it. It took us seven hours, but we did it. It's done.
Director: Yes... But we have got to do it from different angles. Again and again and again and again and again.
Okay, I'm not going to give up. Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
Marge: Now about your punishment, young man.
Bart: I know, I'll go to my room and think about what I did.
Homer: Oh, no, your room is full of toys. You're going to the, uh, garage.
Bart: You're the boss.
Lisa: It's not my nature to complain, but so far today we've had three movies, two filmstrips, and an hour and a half of magazine time. I just don't feel challenged.
Principal Skinner: Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining, furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation.
By 1964, experts say man will have established twelve colonies on the moon, ideal for family vacations. Once there, you'll weigh only a small percentage of what you weigh on Earth. Slow down, tubby! You're not on the moon yet!
Homer: Barney, where have you been?
Barney: All I can remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner.
Homer: Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
Khlav Kalash Vendor: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.
Homer: Blecch! Ew! Sheesh! I'll take a crab juice.
Mr. Plow, for making it possible for people to get where they're going without resorting to public transportation or carpooling, I give you the key to the city.
It may be on a lousy channel, but The Simpsons are on TV!
Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snowblowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?
She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.
Do you come with the car?
Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".
Bart, Homer: You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad...
Principal Skinner: Uh oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
Groundskeeper Willie: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself.
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
I'm really sorry... I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store. But look! I got some cool pogs. Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He's back... in pog form!
An alligator with sunglasses? Now I've seen everything.
Milhouse: A pleasure doing business with you.
Bart: Anytime, chummm... p.
Lisa: Hmmm, Pablo Neruda said "Laughter is the language of the soul."
Bart: I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.
And now, please rise for our opening hymn "In The Garden Of Eden" by I. Ron Butterfly. ... Wait a minute... this sounds like rock and/or roll.
Rev. Lovejoy: No Homer, God didn't burn your house down, but he was working in the hearts of your friends be they Christian, Jew, or ... miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu. There are seven hundred million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aww, that's super.
Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon the sand."
Homer: And you remember ... Matthew... 21:17.
Reverend Lovejoy: "And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?"
Homer: Yeah. Think about it.
She's like a Milk Dud, Lis: sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.
Lisa: Don't be so hard on yourself, Bart. It's not your fault Jessica doesn't like you.
Bart: Is it my hair? My overbite? The fact that I've worn the same clothes day in, day out for the last four years?
Lisa: No, Bart. I just think you and Jessica are too different from each other to get along. She's a sweet, kind reverend's daughter and you're the devil's cabana boy
Rev. Lovejoy: Don't you ever come near my daughter again! Never have I heard such gratuitous use of the word "butt"!
Bart: But -- but -- but --
Krusty's Accountant: Let me get this straight: you took all the money you made in franchising your name, and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?
Krusty: I thought the Generals were due!
I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply doesn't work.
And, like Icarus, the rocket foolishly soared too high, and lost control of its servo guidance mechanism, leaving us with some... six hours to live.
Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back. Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
Ah, there's nothing more exciting than science. You get all the fun of sitting still, being quiet, writing down numbers, paying attention... Science has it all.
Top of the hour, time for the morning news. But of course, there is no news yet. Everyone's still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds. Good night, everybody.
Well, I can fix her, but I won't get the parts I need for two, three weeks. And that's if I order them today. Which I won't.
TV Weatherman: There's a 75% chance of hilarity!
Homer: I like those odds.
I'm going to enjoy devouring you, Bart Simpson. Yes... I believe I'll start, as you've so often suggested, by... eating your shorts.
Homer: I've gone back to the time when dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos! OK, don't panic -- remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day.
[In Homer's Memory:]
Grampa: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.
Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired by Hallmark and Disney in a hostile takeover, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
Automated phone: Hello, and welcome to the Springfield Police Department "Rescue Phone"! If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two. If you are being murdered, or are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line.
[Bart presses buttons on phone]
Automated phone: You have selected "regicide!" If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press one.
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Homer: And you didn't think I'd make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus.
Marge: While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost forty dollars by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: Woo hoo! A four-day weekend.
Lawyer: Well, therefore, you certainly would never lose your temper over something as trivial as the pronunciation of 'Chowder.'
Fred Quimby: That's Chow-DAH! Chow-DAH! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well at all. Nothing further.
Skinner: Well...maybe it was for the best. Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Clonasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through...
...was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had...
...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?! I mean, thank you, come again.
Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vents.
Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember that time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.
I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Marge, I agree with you... in theory. In theory, communism works.
Marge... I think I hate Ted Koppel! No, wait, I find him informative and witty.
Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three - medium brown.
Kent Brockman: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.
Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.
Homer: See, I've got this friend named... Joey Joe Joe Junior... Shabadoo?
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
[A man runs out of the bar in tears]
Barney: Hey, Joey Joe Joe!
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars...I wanted a peanut!
Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Bart: The guys who wrote this cartoon don't know squat. Itchy should have tied Scratchy's tongue with a taut-line hitch, not a sheet bend.
Lisa: Come on, Bart. Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic.
Stupid TV! Be more funny!
Bart: Milhouse... Milhouse, wake up, quick! Look out the window!
Milhouse: No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear-admiral!
Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.
Homer: Look, the important thing is that we all learned a lesson. These guys learned the richness and variety of the world outside college.
Nerd: No we didn't.
Homer: Oh. Then I learned the real value of college is to study, and work hard.
Lisa: No you didn't. You only passed your course by cheating, which you always taught us was wrong.
Homer: Hmm... true.
Marge: An A+! How did you do it?
Homer: Oh, let's just say I had help from a little magic box.
Marge: You changed your grade with a computer?
Homer: D'oh!
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T...
Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!
Ralph: ...and when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
Ms. Hoover: Thank you, Ralph, very graphic.
I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock!
Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.
Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we've put on a darn good science fair.
Lyle Lanley : The name's Lanley. Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... Aw, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!
Lyle Lanley: All right, I tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea! I give you the Springfield Monorail! [audience gasps] I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map!
Leonard Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp 5.
[crowd laughs]
Mayor Quimby: And let me say, "May The Force be with you."
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?
Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here.
Homer: I call the big one "Bitey."
Homer: Well, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game...
[After waiting a few seconds]
Homer: Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
Oh, I guess you're only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer ... ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need a molded plastic suit to improve my physique. Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.
Barney: Oh yeah? Which president's on it?
Homer: ...all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter is passed out on the couch.
But the sign said "All you can eat!"
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film "The NeverEnding Story".
The father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "do not write in this space" he wrote "OK".
I am not an easy man to work for. While directing "Hats Off to Chanukkah", I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth graders? The review, "Play Enjoyed by All", speaks for itself.
Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq; and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.
Lisa: According to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is suddenly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.
Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.
We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter. Then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.
Dr. Hibbert: Bart, in this ward are the children who have been hurt by imitating stunts they saw on television, movies, and the legitimate stage. This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman. This boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench, mimicking a recent TV wrestling match. I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
Marge: Gee, I never thought TV was such a dangerous influence.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, as tragic as all this is, it's a small price to pay for countless hours of top-notch entertainment.
The potential for mischief varies inversely with one's proximity to the authority figure.
What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
Doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me.
Marge: When I found out about this, I went through a wide range of emotions. First I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then ... kind of sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.
Kent Brockman: Well, this reporter was ... possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to ... reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have. For now.
Stillwater: Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard, and in a way, you're both winners. But in another more accurate way, Barney's the winner.
Reporter #1: (reporting on a space launch) Unbelievable, just imagine the logistics of weightlessness. And of course, this could have literally millions of applications here on Earth, in everything from watch making to watch repair.
Homer: Bo-ring!
Reporter #1: Now let's look at the crew a little.
Reporter #2: They're a colorful bunch. They've been dubbed "The Three Musketeers."
[the reporters chuckle]
Reporter #1: And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician, and a statistician.
You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, "I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later." And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!
Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
Tonight, on Smartline: The Power plant strike. Argle bargle, or fooforaw?
Okay. Now, everyone take out your safety pencil and a circle of paper. This week, I hope we can finish our work on the letter "A".
Scorpio: Your job will be to manage and motivate them. Give 'em the benefit of your years of experience.
Homer: Don't worry, that won't take long.
Marge: Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us. I keep expecting to get the bum's rush.
Scorpio: We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did they wouldn't rush. They'd be allowed to go at their own pace.
Homer: Wow, my boss!
Scorpio: Don't call me that word. I don't like things that elevate me about the other people. I'm just like you. Oh, sure, I come later in the day, I get paid a lot more and I take longer vacations, but I don't like the word "boss".
Apu: Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels!
Homer: Thank you. Come again.
Marge: I've dug myself into a happy little rut here and I'm not about to hoist myself out of it.
Marge: You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family?
Homer: Of course not. I wouldn't do that! ... Why not?
Marge: We have roots here, Homer. We have friends and family and library cards... Bart's lawyer is here.
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent, and it's all because of my motivational techniques! Like donuts. And the possibility of more donuts to come.
Scorpio: Hey, Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Scorpio: Nobody ever says Italy.
Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?
Mr. Bont: Scorpio, you're totally mad!
Scorpio: Heh, I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk!
Mr. Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral.
Eddie: Well, well. Steve Sax, from New York City.
Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited!
What makes you think this Darryl Strawberry character is better than you?
Wow, what an ending! Who'd have thought that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father?
Oh, Marge. You're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you've been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid!
I don't know the scientific explanation, but fire made it good.
Marge: So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case?
Hutz: I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink.
Homer: Oh!
Hutz: This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that! I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!
Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have.
Kent Brockman: Uh, Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown.
Mr. Burns: Oh, meltdown. It's one of these annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer, and I am the... um... What cures cancer?
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns, uh, what's your first name?
Homer: I... don't know.
Marge, you're my wife, I love you very much, but you're living in a world of make-believe! With flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats.
Dr. Hibbert: If you want him to live through the night, I suggest you roll him onto his stomach.
Marge: Thank you, Doctor.
Dr. Hibbert: Remember, I said, "if."
Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my busy hands. Not so much for myself, but I am so respected, it would damage the town to hear it.
Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster?
Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?
Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
Come on, Bart! Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose, you're out of the family!
"Attempted murder?" Now really, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for "attempted chemistry"?
Your guilty consciences may force you to vote Democratic, but deep in your hearts you long for a cold, Republican leader who'll cut taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!
Milhouse: I'm more worried about piranhas. Did you see that movie where they send a nuclear submarine to fight the piranhas, and one of them swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye, and he goes, "Aah! Aah! Aah!", and that old lady told him it would happen?
Bart: Yeah, that was pretty good.
Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.
Bart: When I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer just like you, Mr. Hutz.
Lionel Hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing this world needs, it's more lawyers. Could you imagine a world without lawyers?
Lionel Hutz: Now, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name, is it true you have never forgotten anything?
Apu: No sir. In fact, I can recite pi to 40,000 places. The last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmmmm... pie.
Lionel Hutz: Uh-oh! We've drawn Judge Snyder!
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well he's kinda had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well actually replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
Bart: Mom's gonna kill you.
Homer: If she didn't want her car ruined, she should've done a better job hiding her keys.
The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
Homer: Marge, if you don't mind, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence.
Marge: With cans of grease?
Homer: (Sarcastically) No! Through savings and wise investment. Of course with grease!
Am I the only one who just wants to play hopscotch and bake cookies and watch The McLaughlin Group?
Marge: This town is a part of who you are! This is a Springfield Isotopes Cap... when you wear it, you're wearing Springfield! When you eat a fish from our river, you're eating Springfield! When you make lemonade from our trees, you're drinking Springfield!
Bart: Mom, when you give that lecture, you're boring Springfield.
Step over this line and say that... I'll kick your butt... at Nintendo.
Okay, folks, look, I called the police captain in Shelbyville. He says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up in the morgue, he'll fax us.
If you get lost remember, you can always find east by staring directly at the sun.
Shelbyville Kid: Wait a minute, if you're from Shelbyville, how come we've never seen you in school?
Bart: I don't go to school.
Shelbyville Kid: Okay, what's two plus two?
Bart: Five.
Shelbyville Kid: Ah, story checks out.
This is the darkest day in the history of Springfield. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the shower.
Attention! This is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the Principal's Office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium.
Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You'll be in direct competition! And I don't want you to go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Gym Teacher: Tell you what, Simpson: I won't fail you if you join one of those peewee teams outside the school.
Lisa: You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?
Gym Teacher: Look, I don't need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning!
Me fail English? That's unpossible!
Man: In that case I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island. (to Lisa) Don't worry, it's just a name.
[cut to Monster Island where Lisa and others are chased by fire-breathing monsters]
Lisa: He said it was just a name!
Man: What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula.
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