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My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book Earth in the Balance, and the much more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.
Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Leela: Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
Zapp Brannigan: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
Lawyer: Well, therefore, you certainly would never lose your temper over something as trivial as the pronunciation of 'Chowder.'
Fred Quimby: That's Chow-DAH! Chow-DAH! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well at all. Nothing further.
Skinner: Well...maybe it was for the best. Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Clonasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through...
...was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had...
...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?! I mean, thank you, come again.
Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vents.
Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember that time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.
I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.
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