Recently Added Quotes
Marge: You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family?
Homer: Of course not. I wouldn't do that! ... Why not?
Marge: We have roots here, Homer. We have friends and family and library cards... Bart's lawyer is here.
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent, and it's all because of my motivational techniques! Like donuts. And the possibility of more donuts to come.
Scorpio: Hey, Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Scorpio: Nobody ever says Italy.
Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?
Mr. Bont: Scorpio, you're totally mad!
Scorpio: Heh, I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk!
Mr. Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral.
Michael: Here's the thing. Chili's is the new golf course. It's where business happens. Small Business Man Magazine.
Jan: It said that?
Michael: It will. I sent it in. Letter to the editor.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
When I was Ryan's age, I worked in a fast food restaurant to save up money for school. And then I lost it in a pyramid scheme, but I learned more about business right then and there than business school would ever teach me - or Ryan would ever teach me.
A 30-year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so I couldn't hear the other dead people.
Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
Dwight: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?
Dwight: So I can lower it.
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