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[Phil drives a truck off a cliff] He might be OK. [explosion] Well, no, probably not now.


Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me?
Phil: No thank you. I've seen Larry eat.


This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.


People like blood sausage, too. People are morons.


Gus: Phil, like the groundhog Phil?
Phil: Yeah, like the groundhog Phil.
Gus: Look out for your shadow there buddy.
Phil: Morons, your bus is leaving.


Bart: When I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer just like you, Mr. Hutz.
Lionel Hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing this world needs, it's more lawyers. Could you imagine a world without lawyers?


Lionel Hutz: Now, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name, is it true you have never forgotten anything?
Apu: No sir. In fact, I can recite pi to 40,000 places. The last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmmmm... pie.


Lionel Hutz: Uh-oh! We've drawn Judge Snyder!
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well he's kinda had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well actually replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'.


Bart: Mom's gonna kill you.
Homer: If she didn't want her car ruined, she should've done a better job hiding her keys.


The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.

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