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Go on, get up there. I got ten bucks that says you're mine.


Felix's Wife: Excuse me, Dr. Connors?
Phil: Yes.
Felix's Wife: I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again!
Phil: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.
Rita: Dr. Connors?
Phil: It's kind of an honorary title.


Phil: Here you go, kids. Congratulations.
Debbie: What is this? Oh, no way. No way!
Fred: WrestleMania! No way!
Debbie: How did you know? We're, like, going to be in Pittsburgh anyway!


Fred: Excuse me, Mr. Connors.
Phil: Hey Fred, how was the wedding?
Fred: Well, I just wanted to thank you for making Debbie go through with it and everything.
Phil: All I did was fan the flame of her passion for you, Fred.
Debbie: You are the best.
Phil: No, you're the best.


Buster's Wife: I never thanked you properly for what you did for Buster. He would've choked for sure.
Phil: Well he may have, he was trying to swallow a whole cow.
Buster: I owe you one, buddy.
Buster's Wife: [To Rita] Hang on to him, dear. He's a real find.


[To Rita, after Phil plays keyboard with the band]
Piano Teacher: Isn't he good?
Rita: He's great!
Piano Teacher: He's my student!


People just don't understand what is involved in this. This is an art form. You know, I think that most people think that I hold the camera and point it at stuff. There is a heck of a lot more to it than just that. Hey, would you be at all interested in seeing the inside of the van?


[To Buster, after rescuing him from choking]
If you're gonna eat steak, get some sharper teeth, alright?


[Seeing her husband choking]
He is having a heart attack! Do something! Call 411, an ambulance, a lawyer, a doctor, anything!


[Three women are in a car that slows to a halt with a flat tire]
Lady #1: You totaled it.
Lady #2: It's only a flat tire!
[Phil starts lifting the car with a jack]
Lady #2: It's an earthquake!
Lady #1: Oh, it's not an earthquake.
Lady #2: What is it?
Lady #3: [Seeing Phil] Thank you, young man!
Phil: It's nothing, ma'am, I had the tire and the jack. Just be comfortable, alright? It'll be a minute.
Lady #1: Who is that?
Lady #3: He must be from the motor club.

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