Blue-haired Lawyer: What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die"?
Sideshow Bob: No that's German for "The Bart, The."
Parole Officer: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Parole Officer: Parole granted!
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? That spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine soaked hellhole.
Parole Officer: Uh...We object to the term: "urine soaked hellhole," when you could have said: "pee pee soaked heckhole."
Agent: Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! [presses on Homer's foot]
Homer: [whispers to other agent] I think he's talking to you.
I checked around. The girls are calling you ''fatty-fat fat fat'', and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants, but...nobody's trying to kill you.
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Bart: Take him away, boys.
Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake 'em away, toys.
Lou: What'd you say, chief?
Wiggum: Do what the kid said.