Recently Added Quotes
Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So we can play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: It's called, "Is There a God?"
Leonard: What do you mean, you're moving out? Why?
Sheldon: There doesn't have to be a reason.
Leonard: Yeah, there kinda does.
Sheldon: Not necessarily. This is a classic example of Münchhausen's Trilemma. Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression, or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements, or it's ultimately circular, i.e. I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
Leonard: I'm still confused.
Sheldon: Leonard, I don't see how I could have made it any simpler.
I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.
Judge Harm: Silence in my courtroom! Grand theft auto?
Bart: It was an accident, ma'am.
Judge Harm: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!
Judge Harm: Bartholomew Simpson, I am sentencing you to 5 years in juvenile hall. ... Huh?
Judge Snyder: Well, I'm back from my vacation.
Judge Harm: But I was about to pound the gavel, making the sentence official!
Judge Snyder: Sorry, but I put my clown down.
Judge Harm: But, I was going to--
Judge Snyder: The clown is down.
Arizona Matchbook Company. Arizona. Arizona backwards is still Arizona! It's a palomino!
Crisis alert!
[to Britta] You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You are the opposite of Batman!
Ernest: You know, I don't want to insult you being we've just met and all, but you kind of remind me of somebody.
Santa: Santa Claus?
Ernest: I guess you get that a lot, huh?
Santa: Well it's to be expected.
Ernest: Because you look like him?
Santa: Because I am him.
Ernest: Because you am him.
Santa: Oh this is Ernest, I'm Santa Claus.
Ernest: Surprised?
Harmony: Uh, no, no. Not, not really.
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