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But Mr. Dillis, this wasn't just some hobo, this guy was different! Call it clairvoyance, call it extra-sensitory perspiration... I just had this hunch!


Ernest, I'm not really a morning person, so could you keep it down to a dull roar?


What we have here is a failure to accumulate.


Santa: You know, there was a time when I could remember every name on my list.
Businessman: A lot of contacts?
Santa: Oh, all over the world. Now I have trouble recalling who was naughty and who was nice; who asked for a toy truck, and who wanted a bicycle.
Businessman: Sounds like a database problem.


Businessman: Well, it's a smart cookie that knows when to hang up the old cleats.
Santa: Oh, it's time. I'm afraid I really should have done this last year. I don't think I've quite got the magic for another trip.
Businessman: That's how I feel every time they send me to Pittsburgh.


Marge... this is everything I've ever dreamed of right here - and no one's going to take it away from me! You never had faith in me before, but let me tell you - the slim lazy Homer you knew is dead! Now I'm a big fat dynamo! And where's that cake?


Mr. Burns: Homer, your bravery and quick thinking have turned a potential Chernobyl into a mere Three-Mile Island. Bravo!
Lisa: I think it's ironic that Dad saved the day, while a slimmer man would've fallen to his death.
Bart: And I think it's ironic that, for once, Dad's butt prevented the spread of toxic gas.


I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant!


All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body.


I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with the muumuu.

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