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Abed: Jeff wants to see you.
Annie: Yeah? And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.


Frankly, my dear, I don't give a Dean!


Jeff: The show's gonna last three weeks!
Abed: Six seasons and a movie!


I'm sorry, Annie. I'm not the worker bee type. I'm more of a silverback gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark, and quiet dignity of a tortoise.


Dean Pelton: What is your platform... Magnitude?
Magnitude: Pop pop!
Dean Pelton: Same question.
Magnitude: Same answer: Pop pop!


I told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet LeVar in person! I just wanted a picture. You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you Pierce!


I'm a stylish American, Professor. I've been forcing myself to be into soccer since 2004.


Troy: Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
Duncan: I am a professional, and you are interfering with a very fragile book deal... I mean, human being.


Abed: Wanna build a cardboard submarine?
Troy: Get out of my brain.


Do you understand what a conspiracy is? When you conspire with everyone you come across, you're not really conspiring with anyone. You're just doing random crap.

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