Recently Added Quotes
Pierce: Ay-bed, your social skills aren't exactly "streets ahead." Know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff: You're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase "streets ahead."
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted! Been there, coined that! "Streets ahead" is verbal... wildfire!
Annie: Does it just mean "cool," or is it supposed to be like, "miles ahead"?
Pierce: If you have to ask, you're streets behind.
Pierce: Who is this?
Abed: That's Travis. You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis.
Pierce: Show him your license. Travis is his middle name.
Travis: I go by Travis.
Pierce: No, you go by the door.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Cancer. Oh good, come on in, I thought it was Britta!
Jeff: Good luck, Pierce.
Pierce: Don't need it, never had it.
Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, and he went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way, he'd just pee on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?
Abed: When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome as the family in the Brady Bunch. Now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of the Brady Bunch.
Shirley: I agree with Abed. This is getting creepy.
Annie: No more creepy than when Jeff wears tight jeans and you say, "I'd like to slap those buns on the grill!"
Shirley: First of all, I don't talk like that, and second of all where I'm from it's perfectly normal for women to talk about their male friends' backsides. You don't see me saying anything about Abed and Troy's weird little relationship.
Abed, Troy: [to each other] They're just jealous.
This is based on hearsay. Less than hearsay: Pierce's Twitter account, which says he is forty and runs a women-only pilates class.
You know when I was 30, people used to wish I was dead to my face. Now that's respect.
Culturally it's unacceptable, but it's theatrical dynamite.
The biggest truths aren't original. The truth is ketchup. It's Jim Belushi. Its job isn't to blow our minds. It's to be within reach, and the truth is, I get claustrophobic when things get official.
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