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Lyle Lanley : The name's Lanley. Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... Aw, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!
Lyle Lanley: All right, I tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea! I give you the Springfield Monorail! [audience gasps] I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map!
Leonard Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp 5.
[crowd laughs]
Mayor Quimby: And let me say, "May The Force be with you."
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?
Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here.
Homer: I call the big one "Bitey."
Homer: Well, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game...
[After waiting a few seconds]
Homer: Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
Oh, I guess you're only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer ... ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need a molded plastic suit to improve my physique. Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi?
Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.
Barney: Oh yeah? Which president's on it?
Homer: ...all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter is passed out on the couch.
But the sign said "All you can eat!"
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film "The NeverEnding Story".
The father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "do not write in this space" he wrote "OK".
I am not an easy man to work for. While directing "Hats Off to Chanukkah", I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth graders? The review, "Play Enjoyed by All", speaks for itself.
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