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Every week, I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.
[Jim sits down, dressed as Dwight]
Jim: Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought...
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
With the electricity we're using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what's unethical.
I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.
I love my employees, even though I hit one of you with my car.
So Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a little fish in a big pond, whereas back here at Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog... or a fish?
It was never my intention to ruin a life. But you know what? Sometimes, you just gots to get your freak on.
Andy Bernard. Pros: he's classy. He gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.
What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will answer your question with a question. It's like, what happens to a chicken when you take its head away? It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.
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