Recently Added Quotes
Hey, no...no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I've tried. There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians. The Holocaust. JFK. The Lincoln assassination just recently became funny. "I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head." And I hope to one day live in a world where someone can tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams.
Mr. Brown: At Diversity Today, we believe it's very easy to be a hero. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect, and open-mindedness.
Dwight: Uh, excuse me? I'm sorry, but that's not all it takes to be a hero.
Mr. Brown: Great, well, what is a hero to you?
Dwight: A hero kills people, people that wish him harm. A hero is part human and part supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster, that must be avenged.
Mr. Brown: Uh, you're thinking of a superhero.
Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North," and those are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.
Lone Starr: Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.
Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing - which is what you are about to become.
There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Starr!
What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.
Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.
Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies!
Make up some feelings and tell her you have them.
Showing 10 of 923 quotes.