Quotes by Leonard Hofstadter: The Big Bang Theory
Leonard: What do you mean, you're moving out? Why?
Sheldon: There doesn't have to be a reason.
Leonard: Yeah, there kinda does.
Sheldon: Not necessarily. This is a classic example of Münchhausen's Trilemma. Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression, or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements, or it's ultimately circular, i.e. I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
Leonard: I'm still confused.
Sheldon: Leonard, I don't see how I could have made it any simpler.
Leonard: At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions just to make the math come out.
Sheldon: I didn't invent them, they are there!
Leonard: In what universe?
Sheldon: In all of them, that's the point.
Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."
Penny: So, you know, isn't there maybe some way you and Sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing?
Leonard: No. Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthesize facts and come to inarguable conclusions. Not to mention Sheldon is bat-crap crazy.
Leonard: Sheldon, are you worried about your safety?
Sheldon: No, I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago.
Leonard: That's very true.
Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.
Leonard: Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Assuming a device could be invented, which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly. You would not have actually transported the individual, you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.
Leonard: How about that.
Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
Leonard: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.
Leonard: That is a problem.
Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
Sheldon: They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing.
Penny: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
Leonard: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain.
Sheldon: You have to check your messages, Leonard! Leaving a message is one-half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.
Leonard: You know deep down on the inside, Howard's a good guy.
Penny: The problem isn't what's on the inside, it's the creepy candy coating.
Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.
I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.
Here's Mr. T's head on Spock's body. I pity the fool that is illogical.
Leonard: You want to talk endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City.
Raj: Dude, there's six seasons.
Leonard: Oh crap.
Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, "this is funny."
Wolowitz: I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
Leonard: How can you have a girlfriend you can't even speak to women?
Raj: Two words: deaf chick. It doesn't matter if i can't talk cause she can't hear me.
Raj: That's what she said.
Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helically around an axis.
Leonard: There you go.
Leonard: You called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?
Sheldon: What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern kingdoms has been picked clean, like a carcass in the desert sun. Plus, the FBI hung up on me.
Showing 19 quotes.