Quotes by Lloyd Christmas: Dumb and Dumber
Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at 10 in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic!
Harry: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd: You know, stuff.
Harry: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd: Few baseball cards, a sack of marbles... Petey.
Harry: Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd, wh- he- wha- Petey didn't even have a head!
Lloyd: Harry, I took care of it.
Lloyd: The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean not good, like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah!
I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.
Hey, guys. Whoa, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see you later.
Lloyd: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Mary: How'd you guess?
Lloyd: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put two and two together.
Harry: What's her last name? I'll look it up.
Lloyd: You know, I don't really recall. Starts with an S! Let's see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
Harry: Maybe it's on the briefcase.
Lloyd: Oh, yeah! It's right here ... Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.
Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
Showing 8 quotes.