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Rita: Believe it or not, I studied 19th-century French Poetry.
Phil: What a waste of time! I mean for someone else that would be an incredible waste of time. It's so bold of you to choose that. It's incredible. You must be a very, very strong person.
Phil: Who's your perfect guy?
Rita: First of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect.
Phil: That's me!
Rita: He's intelligent, supportive, funny...
Phil: Intelligent, supportive, funny... me, me, me.
Rita: He's romantic and courageous.
Phil: Me also.
Rita: He's got a good body but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes.
Phil: I have a great body and sometimes I go months without looking.
Rita: Is this for real, Phil, or are you just trying to make me look like a fool?
Phil: I'm just trying to talk like normal people talk. Isn't this how they talk?
[Buying Movie Tickets]
Phil: That'll be one adult, and, uh...
Phil's Date: Two adults.
Phil: Two adults, I guess.
Phil's Date: I thought we were going to a costume party.
Phil: It's like I said, I love this film. I've seen it over a hundred times.
Phil's Date: Phil!
Phil: I told you, call me "Bronco".
Phil's Date: Sorry, Bronco.
Phil: Do you think I'm acting like this because I'm egocentric?
Rita: I know you're egocentric, it's your defining characteristic.
Rita: Don't you worry about cholesterol, lung cancer, love handles?
Phil: I don't worry about anything anymore.
Rita: What makes you so special? Everybody worries about something.
Phil: That's exactly what makes me so special. I don't even have to floss.
Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring, in a way.
Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.
Phil: Mrs. Lancaster, was anybody looking for me here this morning? Perhaps a state official, maybe a blue hat, gun, nightstick?
Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, will there be?
Phil: Apparently not.
[To a policeman after being stopped]
Phil: Yeah, uh, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes, and one large coke.
Ralph: And some flapjacks!
Phil: Too early for flapjacks?
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