Recently Added Quotes
Phil: Can I be serious with you for a minute?
Rita: I don't know, can you?
Phil: Yes, I'm being serious.
Phil: Rita, do me a favor. I need someone to give me a good, hard slap in the face.
Rita: [slaps Phil in the face] How's that?
Phil: Good.
Larry: If you need any help with the other cheek, let me know, I'm right here.
Ned: So how's it going, old buddy?
Phil: Well, to tell you the truth, Neddy, I'm not feeling real well. Would you excuse me?
Ned: Well, you know, it's funny you should mention your health because you will never guess what I do now.
Phil: Do you sell insurance?
Ned: Bing again! You are sharp as a tack today! Do you have life insurance, Phil? Because if you do, you could always use more. Right! I mean, who couldn't? But you want to know something? I gots a feeling... you ain't got any. Am I right or am I right or am I right? Am I right? Right? Right?
Phil: Ned Ryerson?
Ned: Bing! First shot right out of the box!
Phil: Excuse me. Where's everybody going?
Piano Teacher: To GobbIer's Knob. It's Groundhog Day.
Phil: It's stiII just once a year, isn't it?
Mrs. Lancaster: Will you be checking out today, Mr. Connors?
Phil: I'd say the chance of departure is 80 percent. 75 to 80.
Phil: Didn't we do this yesterday?
Man: I don't know what you mean.
Phil: Don't mess with me, Pork Chop! What day is this?
Man: It's February 2nd. Groundhog Day.
Phil: I'm sorry. I thought it was yesterday.
Phil: Yo, mom. Isn't there any hot water?
Mrs. Lancaster: Oh, no. There wouldn't be any today.
Phil: Of course not. Silly me.
Wow, there. Looking foxy tonight, man. Hey, is your troop going to be selling cookies again this year?
Rita: Phil! Are you going to the groundhog dinner?
Phil: No, I had groundhog for lunch. It wasn't bad. Tastes like chicken.
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