Andy Dwyer

11 quotes.

Quoted in: Parks and Recreation

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Quotes by Andy Dwyer: Parks and Recreation

Andy: You know when you go to the ATM and get money—is there an actual guy that stands there and gives you money?
Ron: No.
Andy: Yeah, those are robots.


I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn’t actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it. I don’t know who Al Gore is and now I’m afraid to ask.


Andy: If you rearrange the letters of Peru you can spell Europe.
Ben: That's... that's not true.
Andy: Well, you have to rearrange them.


There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.


I'd say my coaching style is centered around fundamentals, with an emphasis on fun. And a second emphasis on ... mental.


Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.


Dude, that is the coolest sentence I have ever heard somebody talk.


April: Hey, I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!


Andy: I don't get it. What does he have that I don't have?
Ann: Are you serious?
Andy: Yeah.
Ann: Everything. He has literally everything you don't have. A job, a car, a steady income, an address, a second pair of shoes, table manners, the ability to say "tampon" without giggling.


Andy: Let me explain something to you, Tweep. When you're in a situation, you don't have time to think. So I thought to myself, "Don't think, Andy. Act."
Tom: So you weren't thinking.
Andy: Not at all. I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.


The band has had a few different names over the years. When we started, we were Teddy Bear Suicide, but then we changed it to Mouse Rat. Then we were God Hates Figs, Department of Homeland Obscurity, Flames for Flames, Muscle Confusion, Nothing Rhymes With Orange, then Everything Rhymes With Orange, Punch Face Champions, Rad Wagon, Puppy Pendulum, Possum Pendulum, Penis Pendulum, Handrail Suicide, Angel Snack, Just the Tip, Threeskin... Oh, Jet Black Pope. We went back to Mouse Rat, and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God, when I hear myself say Scarecrow Boat out loud I kinda hate it...

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