Quotes by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: The Simpsons
We're having our best season ever. And I would like to say that it is because of teamwork...gee, who am I kidding, huh? It's all because of Lisa.
Milhouse: Hey! Way to knock out my teeth!
Apu: Yeah, that's it, Milhouse, keep up the chatter.
Manjula: Apu, it's 4 am. You're late for work.
Apu: Oh. I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.
Manjula: Oh no you don't! Not til they're out of college.
Apu: Listen, I'll die when I want to!
Homer: Ah, another perfect day in my perfect life with my perfect job.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, just heard the news over the squawk box. That's nice work, Homer.
Homer: Thank you, thank you very much. It is nice work.
Apu: Oh, Mr. Simpson, I have just heard about the little bundle of joy. Congratulations, sir!
Homer: It's true, the bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money.
Moe: Hey, Homer! Way to get Marge pregnant! Haha...
Homer: This is getting very abstract, but thank you, I do enjoy working at the bowling alley. ... Hey, wait a second... What are all these presents? It looks like you're showering Marge with gifts... hmm... With little tiny baby-sized gifts. Well, I'll be in the tub.
Maude: Oh and by the way, congratulations on your new job, Homer.
Homer: New job? Marge is pregnant!? Nooooooooo! Aahhhhhhh!
Rev. Lovejoy: No Homer, God didn't burn your house down, but he was working in the hearts of your friends be they Christian, Jew, or ... miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu. There are seven hundred million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aww, that's super.
Skinner: Well...maybe it was for the best. Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Clonasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through...
...was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had...
...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?! I mean, thank you, come again.
What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
Apu: Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels!
Homer: Thank you. Come again.
Lionel Hutz: Now, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name, is it true you have never forgotten anything?
Apu: No sir. In fact, I can recite pi to 40,000 places. The last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmmmm... pie.
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