Quotes by Clark Griswold: Christmas Vacation
Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Griswold.
Clark: I wasn't talking to you.
Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
Clark: Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.
Rusty: Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust.
Clark: Whatever, Russ. Whatever.
Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.
Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.
Ellen: You set standards that no family activity can live up to.
Clark: When have I ever done that?
Ellen: Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations...
Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City.
Eddie: You serious, Clark?
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