Recently Added Quotes
Chubbs: It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips.
Happy: Get off of me!
Chubbs: Just easin' the tension, baby. Just easin' the tension!
Happy: Yeah, well ease it on someone else.
Virginia: I thought we were going to be just friends.
Happy: What? Friends listen to "Endless Love" in the dark.
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
Mr. Larson: Trying to reach the green from here, Shooter?
Shooter: I'm afraid that's impossible, sir.
Mr. Larson: I beg to differ. Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago.
Shooter: Well, moron ... good for Happy Gilm-OH MY GOD!
Did that go in? I wasn't watching, did it go in? I didn't see it, could you tell me if it went in?
You're gonna die, clown!
Somebody's closer!
Virginia: What's this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy: What? I didn't *break* it, I was just testing its durability, and then I *placed* it in the woods because it's made of wood and I just thought he should be with his family.
During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.
Gary: Oh yeah. Lotta pressure. You gotta rise above it. You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness. Energy. Block. Bad. Feel the flow Happy. Feel it. It's circular. It's like a carousel. You pay the quarter, you get on the horse, it goes up and down, and AROUND. It's circular. Circle, with the music, the flow. All good things.
Happy: Yeah, alright. Good to meet you. ... Psycho.
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